Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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