sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
