i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
