i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
