Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
