U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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