Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
