New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
