Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
