Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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