You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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