He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
