True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
