to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
