You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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