You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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