dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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