He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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