My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
