I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
