i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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