Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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