ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
