wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The air was thick with penises
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
