At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
