You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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