I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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