He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
