Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
