That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
even my farts smell like vagina
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
