I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
