North Korea, Best Korea!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
