p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
