I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
