she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
