i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
