After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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