this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Enjoy the penises
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
