Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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