Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
