Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
