Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
