my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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