I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
