he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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