I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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