First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
