Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think my mom watched the whole time
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
