Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
