no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
